Area man Steve Dallard is positive that his Super Bowl party will, once again, be the best one thrown this year.

“It’s gonna be insane,” says Dallard, a Ravens fan. “We’re gonna watch it on my 52-inch plasma, which in case you don’t know, is a freakin’ huge TV. I also ordered the most delicious food. I’m talkin’ three different flavors of hot wings, 12 feet of the best turkey sub you’ve ever seen, then some salads—for the wives.”


Dallard’s proudest table ornament: the “Super Chip N’ Dip Bowl.” He claims his wife “didn’t even help with it, fuck yeah.”

Dallard also has three kegs of Bud Light, which he reminded me was, in fact, the official beer of the NFL.

“Dude, it’s gonna be awesome,” says Dallard, unloading 20 bags of Tostitos ‘Scoops’ from his cabinet. “Jeff is gonna be here, Matt is gonna be here, Dan is gonna be here…you should totally come.”

Reportedly, the party will even have a betting pool which guests can join for ten dollars and try to correctly guess the final score of the game. Dallard, who monitors the gambling, has suspiciously won the pool the last three years.