Madden 15 Cover

Everyone in the world agrees that the Madden NFL video game franchise is the most action-packed sports video game franchise of all time. Year after year, new installments of the game explode with hot new elements of gameplay. This year, EA Sports has elevated Madden to new heights, with 5 new features that have left us dropping our jaws and rejecting society’s harsh expectations of what it means to be a good person.

1. Big Hit

Madden developers have gone head over heels to churn out this (literally) gut-busting feature. ‘Big Hit’ lets players on defense choose exactly how hard they want to slam into the relatively vulnerable torsos of their helpless opponents. Wanna rupture some kidneys? Or are you more of a merciful player? The choice is all yours.

2. Quick Run

In the previous 14 installments of the game, every player moved at exactly the same speed. To spice things up, Madden NFL computer scientists have figured out a way to actually program different speed thresholds for different players. Here’s how it works: players who are rated “faster” are able to run away from “slower” players, en route to reaching that elusive end zone!

3. Choose Play

To bring the Madden 15 game into the upper echelon of gaming, EA has finally granted players the ability to select their own offensive plays from a playbook featuring over 25 unique plays. A whopping 8 additional plays are available for download in the EA Store.

4. Lifelike Crowds

Say goodbye to seats filled with amorphous globs of rotting flesh! The gaming world has been abuzz over Madden 15’s incorporation of virtual fans into the stadium graphics. The fans, which are all flawless CGI-models of John Madden himself, can be seen crisply on any TV monitor sporting the hottest official NFL gear and swag. Amazing!

5. Cover Athlete

Following in the clever footsteps of MVP Baseball–EA’s powerhouse MLB video game franchise–Madden has implemented an innovative athelete-studded cover design for their 2015 installment. Seattle Seahawks’ CB Richard Sherman has taken the honor as the first NFL player to grace the cover of the Madden gaming box. He’s a great player, but it leaves us with one question: could this be a trend?